Ah, the Columbia Convening on AI Openness and Safety—because what the world really needs is more conferences where brilliant minds gather to discuss how to keep our digital overlords in check. Who knew that the secret to AI safety could be found in a fancy room in San Francisco, complete with organic snacks and artisanal coffee? It’s as if they think that a few hours of brainstorming on AI safety will magically solve all the problems that come with teaching machines to think for themselves. On November 19, 2024, Mozilla and Columbia University’s Institute of Global Politics hosted this grand meeting of the minds—a true landmark event on the road to the AI Action Summit in France, scheduled for February 2025. Because if there’s one thing we need to keep our increasingly sentient machines in line, it’s the promise of a poorly translated French pastry. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the irony here. We’re all terrified of AI taking over the world—becoming our new digital tyrants, if you will. And what’s our response? Let’s gather a bunch of thoughtful, well-meaning individuals to talk about it! After all, who could resist the allure of ruling out the potential apocalypse over a round of PowerPoint presentations? Because nothing says “AI safety” quite like a well-lit conference room with plush seating and a complimentary Wi-Fi connection. The research agenda from this gathering is supposedly going to shine a light on the dark corners of AI development. What will they find? Perhaps they’ll discover that AI can’t be trusted with anything more complex than ordering pizza (and even that is questionable). Maybe they’ll come up with a groundbreaking solution like “let’s just not teach them to think” or “how about we keep the kill switches handy?” Oh, and let’s not forget the realpolitik of this meeting. With a title like “AI Openness and Safety,” one can only imagine the kind of delightful jargon that was tossed around. Was there a panel on “Ethics in AI: How to Apologize to Humanity After the Robots Take Over”? Or maybe a workshop titled “How to Ensure Your AI Doesn’t Become Sentient While You’re Still Figuring Out How to Use Excel”? While they’re at it, I’d suggest they add a session on “The Art of Pretending We’re in Control While We’re Really Just Hoping for the Best.” After all, nothing says “we’ve got this” like a room full of experts scratching their heads over the next big breakthrough in AI safety. So, here’s to the Columbia Convening on AI Openness and Safety—a noble effort to tame our future overlords. May it be as fruitful as a garden where no one remembers to water the plants, and may we all live in blissful ignorance until the robots decide they’ve had enough of our shenanigans. #AISafety #ColumbiaConvening #AIOpeness #FutureOfAI #TechHumor