These are some secrets a narcissist will never tell you:
1. You will always feel alone with me.
When you are with a narcissist, you will always feel alone—lonelier than if you were actually alone. This kind of relationship is without any real connection, without any love, without any real support; you have no one to share your feelings with. Yes, they are there physically, but you are really alone—emotionally, mentally, psychologically.
This is not a relationship, it is a one sided situational-ship. You do all the work for the relationship, and they stay only to take from you. They stay for no love or care, but for 'supply', everything is about them.
Your needs are irrelevant. Your feelings are dismissed, your voice silenced, you are made to feel you are "too much"—too needy, too clingy, too demanding. The only thing they can give you, in return, is loneliness. This is a silent treatment, stonewalling, cutting you off from family and friends, abandoning you in your need of them.
When you are alone, at least you have peace. You are not being hurt. But you hurt in every way when you are with them.
2. My personality is not real.
My personality isn't real—it's just bits and pieces that I've gotten from other people like you. I take whatever I want from people who have stuff I like about them because I think I am allowed to. I might talk like someone I just met, dress like my last partner, or pretend to enjoy your hobbies and interests as if they are mine. I could even pick the same job as you or follow the same career path as if I had an actual choice in the direction of my life.
The fact is, I am a collage of the ripped-off pieces. Without that collage of theft, I don't have a personality, I don't have an identity, there is nothing interesting about me. If you peeled back those stitches, you would find someone who is empty, boring, devoid of anything that would make for a meaningful relationship, family, or future. I don't know who I am or why I am here, I only know how to leech off the life of others and that's what I do.
Even your work is not safe. I will steal your ideas and present those ideas, phrases, images as my own because in my mind, I own you. You are not a person to me; you are an object I believe I have the right to use.
3. I secretly dislike you.
I don’t love you—I actually dislike you. I want you to think I love you more than you love me. The fact is, I keep you around strictly for a supply. I know, deep down, that I'm your greatest enemy. I want you to fail. I want you to be in pain. I feel powerful when you are in pain. I want you weak, and tired, and broken. If you have mental health breakdowns, it's just proof to me that I'm better than you.
I will belittle everything you do, I will downplay your successes, and I will make it seem like it is no big deal, "anybody could do it." Then I will dismiss the statement by justifying it as just joking or not meaning it, so you don't leave me. That said, from the bottom of my heart, I mean every hurtful and insulting thing I say to you. I know it, and I love it.
These are some secrets a narcissist will never tell you:
1. You will always feel alone with me.
When you are with a narcissist, you will always feel alone—lonelier than if you were actually alone. This kind of relationship is without any real connection, without any love, without any real support; you have no one to share your feelings with. Yes, they are there physically, but you are really alone—emotionally, mentally, psychologically.
This is not a relationship, it is a one sided situational-ship. You do all the work for the relationship, and they stay only to take from you. They stay for no love or care, but for 'supply', everything is about them.
Your needs are irrelevant. Your feelings are dismissed, your voice silenced, you are made to feel you are "too much"—too needy, too clingy, too demanding. The only thing they can give you, in return, is loneliness. This is a silent treatment, stonewalling, cutting you off from family and friends, abandoning you in your need of them.
When you are alone, at least you have peace. You are not being hurt. But you hurt in every way when you are with them.
2. My personality is not real.
My personality isn't real—it's just bits and pieces that I've gotten from other people like you. I take whatever I want from people who have stuff I like about them because I think I am allowed to. I might talk like someone I just met, dress like my last partner, or pretend to enjoy your hobbies and interests as if they are mine. I could even pick the same job as you or follow the same career path as if I had an actual choice in the direction of my life.
The fact is, I am a collage of the ripped-off pieces. Without that collage of theft, I don't have a personality, I don't have an identity, there is nothing interesting about me. If you peeled back those stitches, you would find someone who is empty, boring, devoid of anything that would make for a meaningful relationship, family, or future. I don't know who I am or why I am here, I only know how to leech off the life of others and that's what I do.
Even your work is not safe. I will steal your ideas and present those ideas, phrases, images as my own because in my mind, I own you. You are not a person to me; you are an object I believe I have the right to use.
3. I secretly dislike you.
I don’t love you—I actually dislike you. I want you to think I love you more than you love me. The fact is, I keep you around strictly for a supply. I know, deep down, that I'm your greatest enemy. I want you to fail. I want you to be in pain. I feel powerful when you are in pain. I want you weak, and tired, and broken. If you have mental health breakdowns, it's just proof to me that I'm better than you.
I will belittle everything you do, I will downplay your successes, and I will make it seem like it is no big deal, "anybody could do it." Then I will dismiss the statement by justifying it as just joking or not meaning it, so you don't leave me. That said, from the bottom of my heart, I mean every hurtful and insulting thing I say to you. I know it, and I love it.